Three Guys and One Gal

Note: This article is a speech script for Toastmasters Project: Understanding Your Communication Styles.



The purpose of this project is to understand different Communication Styles and identify my own style. When I read through the description of each of the 4 different Styles, there was always one person I knew popped up in my head. “This is exactly him!” “This is definitely her communication style.” I talked to myself. After going through the whole project, I had vivid images of four people I knew, each had a different communication style. 3 guys and one gal.

The first person is my classmate A and the communication style is Supportive. We went to the same university and studied Computer Science together. He was a big guy, but not intimidating at all. Instead, he was very nice, gentle, and amicable. He had a great smile. Just like me. He was a very good listener. Whenever I had something on my mind that bothered me, I would go and talk to him. He would always listen, nod, and comfort me. He was very supportive and cooperative. I loved doing projects with him. He was very considerate, he always considered all aspects of the issue, so he appeared to be a little bit of indecisive. He treasured relationships, but he didn’t like conflict. He was doing a great job but he was not super confident, but often modest. After knowing all of these characteristics. I asked myself how could I communicate with him better if I had the chance in the future? I think I will provide plenty of reassurance to make him more confident, and I will give him enough time to make decisions.

The second person is my colleague B and the communication style is Analytical. He is very precise, logical, organized and disciplined, just like all the nerds you can imagine. He is also a software engineer. He is very good at his job, knows all the details of the project he is working on. We used to sit next to each other in the office, so I always turned to him for help if I had any technical problem. He is a deliberate and methodical problem solver. But he rarely gives an opinion unless he is asked and always keeps his personal information private. Once I heard people complained about him being a perfectionist and wouldn’t accept workaround. How can I better communicate with him in the future? I think I will present information to him in an organized manner so that he can process it easily. 

The third person is my colleague C and the communication style is Initiating. She is sociable, enthusiastic, energetic, and of course extraverted, and she is loud too. Our offices were not too far from each other when I worked in the Bay Area. I often heard talking and laughter coming from her office. Have you noticed that some people have the ability to brighten the entire room when they walk in? C is one of them. She has a lot of friends and she enjoys spending time with them. She is very persuasive. This makes her job, a program manager, much easier. She really likes to talk. Sometimes a little too much. If you asked her “how was your trip last week?” She would start with how she got up in the morning, had breakfast, drove to the airport, boarded the airplane, had a conversation with the person sitting next to her. It would go on and on. She remembers all the details and she will tell you all the details. Because people with initiating communication like talking, giving them enough time to socialize and express themselves is always a good strategy to better connect with them.

The fourth person is my former boss D and the communication style is Bossy. No, it’s called Direct. D was very decisive, ambitious and confident. It suited him well as a manager. He was very goal and result oriented. He hardly shared his own feelings. And he displayed more concerns for results than relationships. So sometimes I felt he was too demanding. It seemed that he only cared about the work, not about me as a person. I don’t like working with people with Direct communication style, but if I have to, I will try to focus more on the solution, provide details only needed, avoid over-explaining or repeating myself.

After learning about these four communication styles, I identified my own style. I am not one single of these, but a combination of the first two, Supportive and Analytical. I am a nice guy, just like A,  but will tell myself to ask for more info and more time if it is hard to make a decision quickly. I am an organized problem-solver, just like B, but I will encourage myself to speak out a little bit more. What is your communication style? What are the pros and cons of your communication style?  How can you adapt your communication to better connect with people with different styles? 

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